Christmas isn’t a Hallmark moment for children of conflict who see the Christmas season as frightening and, when everyone around them is enjoying the holiday season, even a confusing time of year. Emergency phone calls to lawyers are up as parents call for help fighting over the Christmas parenting schedule.
The money that could go for charity and gift giving is spent on lawyers by parents who fight over how and when the children will spend time with each of them.
Mediation and Parenting coordination can be useful in moving families embroiled in conflict to short and long term Peace.
Those conflicts that do not get resolved in mediation move into the court system where the Judges make a solution that rarely solves the underlying problems and issues.
Rarely do these parents see (or maybe they are unable to see because of their own pain) the impact of these conflicts on their children. The situation gets worse when the children start to dislike Christmas because of the problems they anticipate will happen and that, in turn, deepens the trauma they come to associate with the Christmas season which it then morphs into their inability as adults to enjoy Christmas with their new partner and family. From their perspective, Christmas is dangerous for their personal sense of security and becomes something to be avoided.
This pattern is also seen in intact families where domestic violence is a factor and in families where parental alcoholism is a factor or in families where there is abuse or neglect of the children.
If the soldiers in opposing trenches during World War I could call a halt to the fighting for Christmas why cannot you?
If you or someone you know is in this cycle be kind, be gentle and be understanding. Most of all be aware of the situation without being judgmental. Be generous of spirit. Help them build new memories from now on and going forward by understanding that the children might not understand what is happening and need your help in creating a happy memories of the Christmas season.
If you or someone you know needs help please call us today for a consultation and learn how we can help break the cycle.