There is a difference between people. That difference is what a big difference is. That difference is attitude. Whether it is positive or negative is what makes the big difference. (Adapted from the words of W Clement stone).
We cannot control all that happens around us. We cannot control others. What we can control is our attitude to the events in our lives. Our attitude towards the events in our lives directly predicts our experience of those events.
If we have a positive attitude and focus on the positivity of the things in our life the outcome of life’s challenges will be experienced as good. Following that, if we allow a negative focus to the things in our lives – the outcome will be seen as negative. Also, your attitude is contagious. If you have a negative attitude others around you will catch your attitude. If you have a positive attitude they will catch that attitude too.
A good attitude at the beginning, middle and end of a task is vital to the appreciation of a task.
What we appreciate, appreciates. A positive attitude is an investment in yourself and others. A positive attitude is an investment in the connections you make with other people in your life. Negotiation is built on making a connection with the other person.
The energy it takes to connect is immense. If you choose to invest that energy, and make the connection, you will give others what they want from you. Master Influencer Zig Ziglar is attributed with the idea ‘if you give others what they want, they will give you what you want’. Connectors invest the energy to find common ground. To find common ground you need to go to where the other person is. That means you need to understand and appreciate what the other person wants and needs. Only then can you ask the other person to follow you to the’ higher ground’ of what you want. If it is not higher ground (a better solution) you should neither ask nor expect the other person to share your vision and help you meet your needs.
When you are going through divorce and separation, you are recreating a relationship that has already been created. You met each other’s needs once. Now you need to overcome the negative attitudes that are encouraged in divorce (negative attitude) and find the good things in your relationship to build upon (positive attitude) so that the new relationship has a solid foundation.
When you fill yours and others minds with the right thing the good stuff will come out.